I strongly believe children can thrive through divorce.
Children need parents who love them. Children need to know they are safe.
Children need stability and sometimes that’s much easier
to achieve outside a marriage than in a broken one
-Lisa Hayes
It has been observed that divorce negatively affects the children’s psycho-social wellbeing.
For instance, Erman and Harkonen (2017) and Wambua et al. (2021)
established that divorce adversely affects academic performance of children as well as
damaging inter-personal relationships between adolescents and parents. Indeed, Erman
and Harkonen (2017) and Wambua et al. (2021) posit that divorce also damages
adolescent’s relationships with their peers. Among the psychological effects mentioned
by Erman and Harkonen (2017) are the feelings of sadness, loss and grief about loss of
the family as the children had known it. Furthermore, studies done in the Western
Countries reveal mental health disorders emanating from effects of divorce on the
children, are the greatest cause of medical disabilities in children (Piotrowski et al.,
2017). Moreover, Olofsson (2019) proclaims that the psychological effects of divorce on
offspring and adult children of separated spouses are lifelong. These psychological
effects of divorce thwart the adolescent’s efforts to flourish. Divorce triggers parental
alienation in that many ex-spouses who are still bitter with each other continue with the
destructive conflicts which led to the divorce in the first place (Brits et al.,2018).
Additionally, Sirbu et al. (2020) reports that these conflicts take a different dimension in
that children are coerced or are unwillingly drawn into the arena which adversely affect
their wellbeing. Studies done on the impacts of parental alienation which occur after
divorce/separation in relation to adolescent’s wellbeing have largely been done in
western world. In the light of the escalating statistics on divorce in Kenya, coupled with
the adverse effects of parental alienation reported on adolescents in developed
countries, this study explored the relationship between post-divorce parental alienation
on adolescents’ wellbeing in Kikuyu Sub County public mixed day high schools in
Kiambu County, Kenya.
Yes, divorce in some instances can be said to be a lesser evil. Besides no child can die
because his/her parents divorced. However, it is what happens after divorce that
mostly affects the children. Most findings of research conducted on post-divorce
parental alienation have demonstrated the following. That a toxic environment occurs
as far as the children are concerned in that they are used as weapons of war between the
ex-spouses. one parents the alienating parent denies the children the love of the
targeted parent, they are punished for showing affection for the other parent. The gifts
they get from the targeted parents are thrown away and they are denied love for
showing affection for the other parent. It can be argued that the toxic environment that
led to the very divorce is perpetuated making the children feel very insecure, have guilt
feelings for being made to reject one parents for no justifiable reasons.