‘Denying and attempting to deny a child the joy and memories
that come with being with the other parent is unequivocally
an act of evil’ -ParentalAlienationExposed.com
Another common parental alienation strategy is erasing the memories of the other parents from the minds of the children (Baker,2021; Warshak,2020). According to
Harman et al. (2018) in extreme cases of psychological maltreatment of children, some
Ap’s have conducted a burial rite with their children with the intention of symbolically
doing away with the TP. In addition, the authors inform that this ceremony is aimed at
marking the birth of a fresh family while erasing the memories of and with the other
parent. In addition, Harman et. al. (2018) reports that some AP may go to an extent of
coaching their children to refer to them by their first name thus creating the impression
that they are equal with the children. This behaviour is intended to make it easier for
the AP to form alliance with the children. Indeed, in some instances the AP may make
children drop their sir name, in favour of the AP’s maiden name which is usually
different from the children’s surname in an effort to publicly reject the TP and erase
their memories (Harman & Birigen, 2018). The other dimension of diminishing the
image of the TP takes the form of discarding the uniqueness or distinctiveness of the
child (Verrocchio et al.,2017). This author found that the alienating parent referred to
his or her spouse as mom / dad and expected the children to do the same. This is an
attempt by the AP to corrupt their children by ensuring they rejected part of their own
identity by calling another adult mother or father in an attempt to ‘replace’ the TP
(Verrocchio et al., 2017), and even change their last name to fully reject the TP (Harman
et al.,2018).
The above discussed strategy of obliterating the TP in the children would seem like
indoctrination of children as in the process part of their own distinctiveness is discarded
when forced to call another grown up mother or father. This parental alienation
strategy is a deliberate attempt to replace the TP in the mind and soul of the children
(Verrochio et al. ,2017). This is a meddling with the symbolic contact as far as the TP is
concerned. Harman and Birigen, (2018) posit that this tactic is aimed at minimizing the
TP’s role in the child’s life. In addition, Birigen (2018) found that the AP would tell the
child that their first word when they came to this world was mommy or daddy for
example. Yet in other instances as Baker & Eichler (2016) found is that children are
made to drop their last names in an attempt to make them completely reject the TP and
lose any connection with them. Nonetheless, this symbolic death of the targeted parent
may cause the alienated children untold agony which compromises their wellbeing.
Moreover, this demand that the children drop their last name, surname implies loss of
identity which may hamper the development of a healthy wellbeing. In other instances,
Obliterating the TP from the child’s mind occurred in the form of taking away the
image and photos of the TP from the child’s view and any reference of the targeted
parent would be addressed by either snubbing or rejecting the child in an attempt to
limit their discussion of the TP (Verrochio et al., 2017). Indeed, Verrocchio et al. (2017)
established that in order to erase the memories of the TP some alienating parents would
reward their offspring for rejecting the other parent. Such parents encouraged the
children not to say hello to the other parent during school events for instance.